That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
