I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
