.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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