OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
