I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
