weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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