i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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