The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
