i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
i think my cat just said my name.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
