I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
