and i looked up. we had an audience...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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