Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
