While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
