I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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