You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
