If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize