I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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