Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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