you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
