Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize