I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
