I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
