and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
