Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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