know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
