I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
