If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
