Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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