She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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