This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
