i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
