Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
