So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
