He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
