So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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