is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
