I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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