I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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