I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
