That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Who died my cat blue again?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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