it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
