So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
