she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
