Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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