as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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