everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize