pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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