We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
they need to just BURY HIM!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
