So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
