so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize