there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
