we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
