It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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