Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
