That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
