If i could tip my vagina, i would.
please come you make the beer taste better
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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