i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize