Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
