I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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